Women. There is so much STUFF surrounding women: standards of beauty, feminism vs. co-dependence, black vs. white, American vs. non-American, women in the media and being portrayed as sexual objects and symbols, women in society and equality, women's culture and how we treat other women… I could go on and on, but I think you know what I am getting at. This is a multi-factorial issue. But I wholeheartedly believe that the underlying answer lies simply with US. We can change all of that. All. of. it. How we do it however, is the real question. It most definitely won't happen over night, but the problem did not start overnight. It will take decades over many generations, but we have to start somewhere. We must stop looking at any one of the multiple issues as something that doesn't involve us, so it must not effect us- IT DOES! You have everything to do with human sex trafficking overseas, and even right here in your own backyard. You have everything to do with the unrealistic measures of what is considered "beautiful", and you have everything to do with the sad truth that women as a whole are suffering in silence, left open, un-protected, un-supported, and un-cared for day after day. It is a mindset, a culture, an epidemic that has spread much too far and far too long. The tendency to hate someone we do not know because we see her strengths and beauty and instead of celebrating her for it, we feel inferior and small and project it outwardly. The ability to walk past or not even that, to sit and watch young women fight for life, education, justice, equality and be silent. We are more likely to speak up for ourselves or someone that we know but look at a stranger as if they somehow are different. As if they somehow are beyond caring for, fighting for… The first time I had the idea to write this post, I had imagined what the world would be like if women everywhere shared the same mindset; that no matter where or who you are, YOU MATTER. Because if we truly thought that, it wouldn't be so easy to dismiss ourselves and think, "what good can I do?' If we honestly believed that, it would offend us to see another woman being devalued and degraded. It wouldn't take a second argument to convince us why we should support women overseas, women in our cities, and women in our homes. We raise our daughters to be anything they want to be, but show them that it is done alone. We show them that we must be an island, and we pass on our single-minded visions and narrowed focus. We are un-intentionally being taught to think of others, especially other women as competition, and enemies and even our friends to an extent are just means to an end. If relationships don't benefit us in some way, shape, or form then it doesn't exist. Where are the older women to guide the younger? Teaching us how to be loving, whole, and caring wives/mothers? And for the few that do, how many younger women actually listen, value, and seek the wisdom? Where is the loyalty in younger women to those who have come before us? They paved the way, each surviving their own personal tragedies and struggles- and what do they have to look forward to? What would you say if I told you that everything you are working for, fighting for, and sacrificing for will be forgotten and un-noticed by the time you die? This life is temporary yes, but ladies we have a PURPOSE! Why are we so full of ourselves, our lives, our needs? Were we not created to be a help? Certainly to be more than this. Instead we have been "helping" ourselves to whatever claim we have put a stake in at the moment but never really achieving true success. Our relationships are superficial, and our ideals shallow. We can't just shout out once or twice, here and there and expect to be heard. Before anyone else will take us seriously, it starts with us. You and me. We have to take a stance, to be our Sister's Keeper. No one can do it all, but we all can do it together.
So this is my plan. I live a busy life: I work full time, go to school full time, I am a wife and have a life just like everyone else. But I will make the time to meet once a month with who ever is willing, and just start small. We can just hang out, have a potluck, have girl talk, read books, do bible studies, prayer circles, whatever we need to just build a community of support for one another. Getting out of our comfort zones, out of our own boxes and lifting our heads to look into into the eyes of someone else. Taking our minds off our own issues and concerns a praying for someone else. No longer feeling as though we have to grin and bear it alone and depending on someone else, to support us, celebrate us, hold us accountable, and challenge us. I'm not quite sure what will come of this, but at the very least I pray that one by one, little by little we form the habits, that change the mindset, giving way to the understanding that we matter and the confidence to know that you can make a difference.
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