Opposites Attract...

On our way to school this morning my husband started an interesting, and sort of odd conversation.  He had been looking on facebook and saw a guy he used to know from school and he began to describe to me this guy's personality and what he was doing with himself and goes on to say that this guy would be someone that he could see me with.  And he brings up something that my mom used to tell me, she would say that she didnt see me marrying a man in my race, and it always struck me as weird that she would say that, and now that he is agreeing with it as my husband, HUSBAND as in, I've already made my choice with him lol! But I could understand and even agree with the reasons that he had come up with, because he said that our personalities were similar.  They guy is going to law school and is really smart, and the fact that we have opposite backgrounds would be interesting to me, since I like learning and doing new things and the things that I do that are specific to my culture would intrigue him likewise whereas in our marriage that rarely happens.  And he also felt that just someone with the the kind of personalility like me, being a little outgoing, but still having an exclusiveness would fit his.  And I wondered what got him going on this, it was an interesting conversation nonetheless which made me think of our personalities and how it effects our relationship.  I'll start with him, and what I have noticed so far is that:
*He is very friendly, and sociable, moreso than me.  He can have people over and around him 24/7 and not be bothered at all and this shows in how he once wanted to share an apartment with some friends of ours that are recently married and it totally fits his personality because being around other people doesnt really bother him, quite the opposite.
*He doesn't seem to stay focused on one thing, and this shows up a lot when we are having a conversation.  He is easily distracted and stops mid sentence/thought very often
*He has a really laid back personality.  Nothing ever really bothers him, and you always wonder (or I always wonder) what to do to get into that inner-part of him, that no one else knows. He doesnt seem to be as hard to figure as I try to make him out to be.  I feel like there are alot of times that I look for a deeper meaning in his words or actions, when there is none, its just what it is, which is still a concept of him I am getting used to.
*He loves to help people.  No matter who they are, and this goes hand in hand with his friendly-ness.  He can be friends with practically anyone, and he loves to help other people solve their problems and give them advice and is very loyal to helping out his friends
*He is extremely kind and giving.  If he has it, its yours
*He is very confident and charismatic
*He is smart, especially in logical thinking areas
*He is emotionally mature-he can separate his feelings from things he has to do
*He rarely ever complains about anything (i guess thats the same as nothing really bothering him...)
*When he tries, he has the ability to make anyone, especially me feel like they are on top of the world
*He is very loyal, and determined.  I can count on one hand the number of things he has quit.  I can also count on one hand the number of things he has started, which can be said that when he does something he does it well, and consistantly.  If he likes it today, he'll like it tomorrow
*He is a morning person- enough said
*He forgives/forget easily. because of one the other is possible and it depends upon the situation which happens first
Me on the other hand, I am not sure if I am opposite, but we'll see:
*I am a night person, as in I like to stay up late, but I would rather get up early to work so that I can enjoy my favorite time of day
*I would consider myself a deep person, a lot of what I do and how I do things have meaning or purpose, ussually to learn something about me or other people.
*I day dream a lot- take from it what you will
*I like to talk, but not in a way that I like to hear myself talk, no beacauase I am a quiet person too.  But I lile conversation.  I enjoy a good conversation, which lately my sensitivtity to things has cost me some good conversations
*I am optimistic and sometimes niave.  I assume the best of people and even sometimes assume that others share my thoughts and reasonings on similar things when in fact, they do not
*I easily forgive. And i think thats something I have always done just beause whats done is done and I dont like to think the worst in people.  If i dont forgive you that means that I am consciously deciding to view you in a negative way each and every time I see you, and that would contradict my earlier quality.
*I am a hopeless romantic.  I love love.  I love being in love and having someone to love and that is something that I consider to be a great oppurtunity.  That was I think a really big factor that I have lost sight of over some time.  I wasnt a nagging and complaining person until I stopped being grateful for love.  Somehow this quality about me is embedded in my core, beause just the thought of it makes me grateful and happy and i dont know what else.  But I know that was most attractive to my husband when we were dating.  Because that gratefulness ignites in me another quality:
*I love to serve people.  Especially the people I love.  I love knowing what I can do to make thier day, thats why I remember birthdays and buy presents specific to thier iterests and listen and respond to the little things that they themselves may not remember they said.  And I have always been that way too.
*I am family oriented.  I would love to have a big family, I love, love, love children. Watching their mannerisms and personalities develop with thier little voices and fingers! And I want to be a good mom.  It is a privilege that I am most excited for.
*I am a naturally happy person.  I am giddy and sometimes goofy and I love to laugh.
*I can be shy. Especially when I dont know you and I like to have a certain sense of reserved-ness to me, but I am still outgoing beause I dont shy away from meeting new people or going new places.
*I love to learn. I love going to school, buying new notebooks, pencils, highlighters!
*I am a neat person. I dont have to have everything perfectly clean, but I need an organized mess.
*I love a challenge.  I rarely ever enjoy something that comes too easily.
So if this wasnt at all interesting to you I apologize, but it was extremely helpful to me! Though I am not sure if my husband and I can be considered opposites, I do realize that a lot of your ways are different. And the question ends up being, not how this person can change and how you can build a life around them being what you want them to be, but how you can love them for them. I fell in love with him and I don't believe that he has changed much. There may be some things that he has stopped doing, or started doing differently but characteristically if I look at it, I will notice that he hasn't really changed and if I was able to love him once before, then it shouldn't be that hard to continue to love him. But its not the case in most instances.  Why does that change? Is it that over time people become more and more comfortable to vent and express their dissatisfaction? Or that people's expectations grow more and more and they demand more from the other? Why don't we stay the same in our expectations of our partners? I guess expectations aren't a bad thing its just when those expectations become bigger than the reasons you have to be grateful for. I'm sure if I thought about the things I am going to complain about before I actually say them and think about their importance in respect to all the other things I could focus on, I almost guarantee that it would save me many arguments. So why do it? I don't know, I guess you just don't want to feel like the person is getting away with something no matter how small it is, but on the other hand when it comes to ourselves, we expect grace and mercy when it's  on our hands. We judge people off of their actions yet want them to judge us off of our intentions, which isn't fair to say the least. We should give people to same respect, courtesy, and grace we ourselves would want. We should, but yet we don't. So, should opposites try and make it work, even if they have few things in common, or maybe opposites have many values in common which attracts them to one another, yet opposite ways of doing things? Idk, I think it could be both but I see know reason in such differences to say that two people shouldn't be together. That is up to them and their level of maturity to stick it out and make it work. Most times opposites can create a diversity that adds value to the relationship and in turn creates a preference for someone who is not like you because you like the possibilities it creates. Do I think we are opposites, my husband and I? No. I think overall we have the same goals in mind and the same values, but we do differ significantly on various other areas even in our personalities. But when I look at it for the value it creates rather than how it can negatively effect us, I give myself the opportunity to add a new aspect to my life. I mean, isn't that the point of marriage? To fall in love with someone who completes you? What's the fun in someone giving you what you already have. I think sometimes people can view differences negatively but think selfishly to expect the other to embrace and accept their ways. You know that you love someone when you can say that you love them for all the things that they bring and not for what you hope to make them out to be. And that's a hard concept, but a much needed one to grasp.